Adagio

Hello friends. I’m back, coming out of the woodwork once again to share some new music with you all =). This one is called “Adagio” and is another song off my future mixtape, GT & Friends. So of course, this includes another collaboration – the wonderfully talented Lily Bee. If you don’t know who she is, then you should! If you mix the warm voice of Norah Jones with the SoCal charm of  Colbie Caillat, then you might be able to imagine what Lily Bee might sound like. I had the awesome opportunity to work with the artist during her short stint here on the East Coast, and made sure I didn’t let her return to sunny California without blessing me with a track.

So there you go. Some might call this one soft, or a little sappy, but who hasn’t felt like that once in a while? Maybe this one will keep you just a little bit warmer this winter. Otherwise, stay tuned for next time. I’ll be sure to bring you a headbanger – keeping it real, fo shiggity, fo jinjja my ninja. Word is bond, to the break of dawn. Peace outside.

Below you’ll find the lyrics video, a little kinetic typography courtesy of YMG (Yo Media Group).

Aaaaaand, if you’re so inclined, feel free to DL the track, as a freebie of course via Bandcamp. Enjoy!

Instrumental: 배치기 – 편지

Lyrics:
Chorus
One more chance
One more glance
One more dance, tonight
Show me love
You’re the one I think of
You make me feel all right

Verse 1
The beginning of story, it started with ya smile
Followed partially by ya eyes & partially by ya style
Got to talking and then I… wait, pardon me a while
‘Cause a part of me is arguably in marginal denial
It’s been a long time, its almost new to me
I used to be so jaded like chinese jewelery
The thought of you & me caused a bit of a spark
Kinda like a book ya read… by Nicholas Sparks
Hey look, I want you to know that I’m only grateful
Truth is, I like you, and I don’t mean facebook
Maybe this is corny, me confessing these feelings
Dunno how ya see me but I’m asking that ya gimme just…

Verse 2
I dunno know what’s in a day but I know ya make mine
Imma call it as I see it, iPhone & Facetime
Don’t wanna waste time, got something to pass on
Cause I’m big on ya type, call it a caps lock
Taking all of my hats off, you deserve the respect
I admire ya drive, I could learn from the best
I’m digging everything from the way you laugh and
How ya don’t chase dreams but you make ‘em happen
Crazy how youre always able and willing to help
And how ya never afraid to be silly ya self
Forgive me girl, just wanna compliment you
‘Cause I’m hoping i could be someone that complements you (ya know?)

Verse 3
Yo, all I’m saying is that I wanna be with you
And hey… maybe nothing will happen
But I’m hoping that ya see me in the picture soon
Like a coming attraction
I’m just spitting what I know girl, yes indeed
Checking why I feel this way, WebMD
‘Cause truth be told I think you’re beautiful
From ya cutesy nose down to ya cuticles
yo I’d treat ya right, if I only had the chance
Lady got me kinda Gaga – no bad romance
Think I said too much, I don’t really have plan
So let me start over & ask…

Shot with the Canon 60D. Edited in Premiere.
Post production done in After Effects with Twixtor.

Directed by Rishi Kaneria.

Starring Dante Ha, a professional stunt man whose work includes Dark Knight Rises, Contagion, X-Men:First Class, Walking Dead, Teen Wolf and more.
imdb.com/​name/​nm4010586/​

Music by Clint Mansell.

Though the title of this post says “New Music” it’s a bit of a misnomer as this song was originally conceived last summer. Due to a number of reasons it wasn’t actually completed until about a month ago but I think it may have been for the better. DCho & J. Choi are two of my oldest friends that I’ve grown up with so it was a blessing to work on this project together with them.

I recall when DC approached me about this track, saying that he had the perfect idea for B.o.B.’s “Airplanes” instrumental and we got to working on it. At the time, the original song still had a ton of airplay and so we decided to take our time completing it – waiting for the saturation to die down a little and here we are a year later.

The song should be self explanatory based on the title. DCho, a pastor, wanted to really convey the empowering Freedom of God – something that I think was accomplished quite well with this track. The chorus is just a repetition of the line “I’m Free!” (in great melodic form thanks to J. Choi) and really drives the point home that “Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom“. I hope those listening are able to experience & relate the same. Big ups to DCho for having me and J. Choi jump on the track.

You can DL the song for free via his bandcamp page.

Wooo… where to start with this track? This song had it’s beginnings back in 2009, when I approached a number of talented friends about having them put their reflections of their Faith into song format, knowing fully well we were all in different places. Johnnyphlo, J. Han (of AMP), and Jae Jin all graciously accepted and so the idea of “Speaking Up” was born, at least conceptually. The bulk of the song was written and recorded shortly thereafter, but due to a number of reasons, it was never given the final polish and sheen it deserved for a final release.

That changed early this year, when the finishing touches were at last put on the track – only for me to keep it in the vault until I felt the time was right. Although certainly not completely ideal, I still find an upside to sharing this song with you now – even if it’s not my most absolute recent work. It offers a snapshot in time of each artist’s personal experience and interaction with God. It was an opportunity for us to speak up and share our hearts, and speak upwards as a form of prayer.

Much love to the homies for blessing the track. Their honesty made it what it is, and I think it turned out amazingly. This is the first single off my upcoming mixtape GT & Friends, due later this year. If you like what you hear, you can download the track via the widget below or by hitting up the bandcamp page. You can also find the lyrics after the break if you want to read along. Thanks and enjoy!

PS, It’s Johnnyphlo’s birthday today, wish the dude a happy one!

PPS, fun fact: the song uses the instrumental from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s “I Tried”.

JohnnyPhlo:
http://twitter.com/johnnyphlo
http://youtube.com/johnnyphlo

J. Han of AMP:
http://twitter.com/jameshanmusic
http://youtube.com/jam90

Jae Jin:
http://twitter.com/jaejinmusic
http://youtube.com/jaejinmusic

GT:
Yo I’m here to talk alone ’cause I want an honest moment
‘Cause I’m tryna skip the acts.. like goin from John to Romans
God, I know I lost my focus, and I’ve broken promises
Forgot all the motives had as a hopeful college kid
A few bad experiences backed me off the church route
Used to be on fire for You but I gradually just burnt out
Became luke warm, like the disciple with a fever
Started talkin to Ya less, livin life like I didnt need Ya
‘Cause I knew if I followed You, I would have to discern
Between what Ya want me to do and what I thought I deserved
So I’ll give Ya more in tithe but I’m holding back my heart
Though I need You in my life, I don’t know where to start
After growing worlds apart I’ve learned a lot, thats for sure
Like life without You may be easier, not happier
All these years that I’ve wasted, God I wish I could take it back
Since You are the truth its time I look & face the facts

Johnnyphlo:
수많은 거짓들과 잘못된 버릇을 다
버리지 못해 어느새 당신과 멀어진 나
그 모든 것이 쓸모없다는걸 아는데
평소엔 이성적이고 똑똑한 나인데
맘으론 알면서도 보이진 못해
머리론 알면서도 느끼진 못해
1분 1초도 내겐 너무 바빠
잘못을 알아도 고칠 틈이 없네
난 나를 알아,
고칠점을 알면서 그냥 살아
독인줄 알면서 먹는 열매가 내게는 너무나 달아
나도 내가 왜 이러는지는 모르겠어
지금을 살기 위해 내 믿음이 목을 맸어
멀리 보는 눈이 멀어, 바로 앞만 보고 걸어
이 더러운 세상을 걸어가며 내 혼은 발을 저러
이 무거운 짐들을 들고 어디까지 갈까
짐에 가려진 내가 등 진 그곳은 너무도 밝다

J. Han:
Dear Lord, First of all I gotta thank You,
cause You are Sovereign, Righteous, and always Faithful.
Anytime I let the flesh win, the guilt sets in.
But I know those feelings are from satan, not from heaven.
Even through the conviction and the correction
You stood next to me, – whispering the plans of Your direction.
No matter how much I try to guard my heart-
You still see the beauty in me like the Taj Mahal.
I know I am a sinner, You take me as I am.
I’m in need of Grace like Kelly, I’m a wretched man.
You gave me victory over all things that hinder me.
Shaping and refining me – to become – who I’m supposed to be.
I speak Hebrews 12 verses 7 to 11
-to all the brothers who endeavor to be set free.
I plead the blood of freedom over all of us
Because Jesus took the cross so we could live victorious.

Jae Jin(Hook/Chorus):
Though I often turn away, Your mercy brings me back to You
You hold my sin and take my shame and I just wanna say…
Though I often turn away, Your mercy brings me back to You
Got nothing else to offer You but still I want to say…

It’s officially the 4th of June, 2011 where I am. This marks the day one of my oldest friends (perhaps the oldest that I am still in contact with) gets married. In 15 hours and change he will be walking down the aisle, in front of friends, family, and God to officially proclaim and dedicate his love for another human being, till death do they part. On one hand it’s a frightening proposition; to declare that they will do all they can to actively experience love as a verb and not passively as a noun. On the other hand it’s a beautifully innate desire that seems to run deep within the vast majority of us, that we could someday experience something so Divinely inspired and humanly powerful.

Image courtesy of Photoria Media

People have given me bewildered looks, like those deserved by a lunatic, when I explain that I’m OK with never getting married. You see, it’s not that I wouldn’t ideally like to be married some day and to take part in the amazing covenant known as marriage, rather it’s just the pragmatic and cautious side of me recognizes that very few of us know how to truly Love some of the time – much less all the time. It’s not that I expect perfection of myself and my potential future wife, but I think we would both deserve an ever seeking desire to Love perfectly, albeit with the expectation that we will fall short at times.

I’ve seen first hand how damaging incomplete, selfish, and fleeting “love” can be. In fact I believe broken love begets broken love – heavily contributing to the resulting culture we live in of broken families, pre-nups, and divorce attorneys. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m simply declaring that I do not want to attempt a Loving marriage until I’m at a point where I’m not just ready to be in Love, but rather I’m ready to be Love… if that makes sense. And at the end of it all, I accept there is the possibility I may never reach that point of conviction, determination, and peace – and if so, yes it’s a bit unfortunate, but I believe it ultimately to be for the best that I err on the side of caution.

But to my dear friend Eli and his glowing bride Helen, I recognize they are at that golden place. Even so, I’m positive it’s not going to be an easy experience – but I’ll be damned if it won’t be an incredible one. They are ready to start a new chapter together, one rooted in a Love bigger than themselves. I’m sure there will be many, many challenges that lie before them – some of which may test them at their limits. But I have Faith that if they are able to remain rooted in their God-given calling to Love each other, nothing can break them. That is the beauty of human relationships when fueled by emotion, expressed in the physical, and derived from the Spirit.

To Eli & Helen, also known as HEli, I wish you the best. May your joyous moments be numerous and your trying ones, full of growth. And I pray that I will be able to look to you both as examples of real Love, manifested in marriage – especially if I am to ever find myself in your shoes. Godspeed and congratulations, it’s going to be awesome.

Photo credit: Photoria Media

Uh what? New music? From GT? Yes and no. I had the itching to put something together last night and this was the product. It’s not exactly finished, but it’s close. But I didn’t want to keep my 6 fans waiting. It was done on a day in May plus it’s a general sign of things to come, hence the title. Just know I ain’t done with music yet muthasuckas!

heh, wait … so imma have to spit a verse
maybe something spicy to chew on, cinnaburst
hit em where it really hurts, pinch a nerve, with some words
ya heard it first, sub-sonic murder sound, kilohertz!
heres a clean sixteen like an abstinent teen
if ya looking for the king, just ask and receive
im the man that you seek, and I’m glad to be he
better known as GT, the passionate MC!
its a warning for you fools writing wack raps
betta get ya head adjusted, like a snapback
or maybe you should run, hit the track jack
Ya just a product of the Hunt, like a snackpack
I’m goin in… like my mothers calling
so ya betta save ya game, time for you to pause it
my victory is flawless, but if it’s any solace
I got that Navi flow cause I aint ever lost yet! chyea!

But their latest production, a short entitled Strangers, again is by far my favorite release of theirs yet. I’m no film critic but their ability to weave together a tale generic enough that almost anyone can relate yet crafted well enough that I genuinely become attached to the characters in just 15 minutes-ish of time is quite impressive. Take a look:

And… I’ll leave it at that and let the video speak for itself. All I’ll say is that the short moved me in a way that brought forward a lot of memories, regrets, and understanding. The video is already a couple weeks old, and at over 5 Million views as of this writing, I imagine that many of you may have already seen it. If not, you’re missing out. It’s given me a couple things to think about for if and when I’m in my next relationship.

This was such a stupid but fun time back in 2009.

Back in 2002, the mother of a friend of mine was murdered during a robbery that took place at the store her family owned. At that time, this was one of the first experiences I had involving death and though I’ve only met the woman once or twice, seeing her daughter (my friend) deal with the tragedy was an oddly influential moment for me. To this day I always remember April 15th as the day my friend lost a mother but began taking steps in becoming her own woman.

In 2003, when I first started recording I released a song called “Four Seasons Later”. It was an ode of respect, paid in dedication to my friend and her family. 3 years later (2006) I was compelled to redraft the whole thing, and the end product was something entirely different – a spoken word poem called “Ides of April” (a somewhat obscure reference to Ceaser). I discussed the piece with my friend Jacqueline, a fantastic musician and singer from California, and the next thing I knew, she provided a piano instrumental that moved me to record the poem. Last but not least we salvaged some of the lyrics from “Four Seasons Later” and produced the reprise of the song, which Jackie sang hauntingly and beautifully. The track eventually found it’s way unto my mixtape released in 2008, In Transition.

Last night I quickly put together a video, paraphrasing and highlighting the words of the poem/song. I’m not entirely sure why 9 years later this event continues to move me, but I found it appropriate to re-share the song via the new video. From a technical standpoint, there are a lot of imperfections on both the audio and video fronts, but it isn’t now, nor has it ever been about creating a perfect piece of work. At the end of the day the event(s) that inspired this were ugly and horrific but it has ultimately produced beauty via  the lives of the surviving family. I share a similar sentiment about this piece; it may not be the prettiest, most polished work you ever hear, but I believe it to be honest and moving in it’s own right.

And so I hope this may inspire you too.

RIP – 4/15/2002

On that note, today has been an interesting day of reflection. For those of you unfamiliar with twitter they have something called trending topics, basically a listing of the most commonly tweeted words/subjects by all users. Today one such topic was “#thatswhyyourmyex”. Now, this isn’t really the proper forum to explain the syntactic formatting and purpose of a hash tag, I’ll leave that up to the pros. But let’s keep it simple and say that phrase was a vehicle for everyone to share the negative causations behind their romantic break ups.

Interestingly enough, the subject caught the fancy of one of my ex’s. And well, let’s just say she went to town on the chumps that have hurt her over the years.

Yours truly included.

I’ll let you guess which one was me. Never mind, I’ll just tell you. I’m BF #1. We were each others first significant other. And yea, if you read her blurb, that’s why I say I’m a douche.

Guy 1: first boyfriend. average guy. was nice to me. ended up breaking up with me on my bday i think, or close to my bday.. i got flowers, a CD and pretty much a goodbye. I cried at my locker for a week.

I distinctly recall convincing myself that I was breaking up with her because I felt like she needed to grow, apart from me and that it was a sacrifice for the both of us but for the best. Bologna Sandwich. I was in 11th grade. Fat chance I was that wise and insightful. Looking back I recognize that I was just young, dumb, and not ready for a serious, long term relationship.

Though, I hope you understand Cat and I are cool now. This was literally a decade ago, we’ve grown up and moved past our (primarily my) foolish shenanigans and are friends. But I think the biggest revelation to come out of reading her historical narrative is that many, if not most of us misinterpret and misrepresent love. And because we are imperfect, our understanding of love is imperfect, and our interactions end up having just as many painful implications as it does joyful.

Anyway, I want to wrap this up so let me close with this. I’ve had other relationships since Cat, and suffice to say they were also imperfect in their own ways. To those I have hurt, I sincerely apologize. To those that have hurt me, I’m learning to forgive and understand it may not have been intentional but just a result of our flaws and insecurities. And if there comes another woman who decides to try their luck by being with me (Lord have mercy on them), to the future Mrs. GT … allow me to say I can’t promise I won’t hurt you; but I will promise to try to love you less and less with my heart and more and more of God’s. And I expect the same from you. And I hope #thatswhyyourmynext