Love & Marriage, Horse & Carriage

Nevermind the title of this blog post. It’s just what gets stuck in my head when I think of the word “marriage” and am reminded of the silly old sitcom Married with Children that uses the famous Sinatra song; but I digress.

It’s officially the 4th of June, 2011 where I am. This marks the day one of my oldest friends (perhaps the oldest that I am still in contact with) gets married. In 15 hours and change he will be walking down the aisle, in front of friends, family, and God to officially proclaim and dedicate his love for another human being, till death do they part. On one hand it’s a frightening proposition; to declare that they will do all they can to actively experience love as a verb and not passively as a noun. On the other hand it’s a beautifully innate desire that seems to run deep within the vast majority of us, that we could someday experience something so Divinely inspired and humanly powerful.

Image courtesy of Photoria Media

People have given me bewildered looks, like those deserved by a lunatic, when I explain that I’m OK with never getting married. You see, it’s not that I wouldn’t ideally like to be married some day and to take part in the amazing covenant known as marriage, rather it’s just the pragmatic and cautious side of me recognizes that very few of us know how to truly Love some of the time – much less all the time. It’s not that I expect perfection of myself and my potential future wife, but I think we would both deserve an ever seeking desire to Love perfectly, albeit with the expectation that we will fall short at times.

I’ve seen first hand how damaging incomplete, selfish, and fleeting “love” can be. In fact I believe broken love begets broken love – heavily contributing to the resulting culture we live in of broken families, pre-nups, and divorce attorneys. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m simply declaring that I do not want to attempt a Loving marriage until I’m at a point where I’m not just ready to be in Love, but rather I’m ready to be Love… if that makes sense. And at the end of it all, I accept there is the possibility I may never reach that point of conviction, determination, and peace – and if so, yes it’s a bit unfortunate, but I believe it ultimately to be for the best that I err on the side of caution.

But to my dear friend Eli and his glowing bride Helen, I recognize they are at that golden place. Even so, I’m positive it’s not going to be an easy experience – but I’ll be damned if it won’t be an incredible one. They are ready to start a new chapter together, one rooted in a Love bigger than themselves. I’m sure there will be many, many challenges that lie before them – some of which may test them at their limits. But I have Faith that if they are able to remain rooted in their God-given calling to Love each other, nothing can break them. That is the beauty of human relationships when fueled by emotion, expressed in the physical, and derived from the Spirit.

To Eli & Helen, also known as HEli, I wish you the best. May your joyous moments be numerous and your trying ones, full of growth. And I pray that I will be able to look to you both as examples of real Love, manifested in marriage – especially if I am to ever find myself in your shoes. Godspeed and congratulations, it’s going to be awesome.

Photo credit: Photoria Media