Same Old New Me

If you were to ask me if I consider myself a “better” person than I was 10 years ago, I’m honestly not sure how I’d answer.

A decade ago, I was on my way to college. A kid on the brink of “adulthood”. The next few years would be spent trying to figure out who I was in the context of friendship, romance, ministry and faith. But interestingly enough, for every area that I’ve grown and gained, I feel like I’ve regressed and compromised in others.

I’m now “wiser”, but more jaded. I’m smarter but more hesitant. I used to approach relationships with my heart, but now I do so with more of my head. I’ve become more tolerant, but less passionate; more accepting but less invested. I’ve traded depth for breadth. Now, I’m more eager to talk, but less willing to listen. Increased self-sufficiency has brought upon increased selfishness. Arguably, I’m now healthier in mind & body but less so in spirit. I like more, but love less.

Now let me clarify that this post isn’t meant to offer any epiphanies or definitive answers. It’s simply a realization and declaration that although I’m different from the old me, I don’t really consider myself any better. I think it’s time for this to change.

Relient K – “Be My Escape (Acoustic)”